Aug

7

Essentials

See what you look at. Listen to what you hear. Feel what you feel.

Finding a way to use heart, hand, and mind together leads to joy.

Treat yourself as you would a dear friend.

Don’t lie. Lying tangles up your heart and mind. Lies require more lies, sapping energy.

Much of what is considered normal is wrong or worse.

Turn away from cynicism, intoxication, and callousness.

Read Xenophon’s account of Cyrus to learn about leadership. Read Seneca and Publius to learn how to retain your composure and virtue through Fortune’s ups and downs.

Be trustworthy.

Keep a good reputation.

Don’t talk trash about others behind their backs. That sort of talk has a way of flying like a bird back to the target and can turn people into enemies. Talking trash also makes your companions wonder what you say about them when they’re not around.

Genial curiosity can sometimes defuse bad situations.

Bad behavior is often about them, not you.

Deportment

Good manners reveal strength.

Respecting others as human beings is the essence of good manners. You don’t have to overthink it; good manners are often about little things, such as:

Get to appointments early.

Open doors for people with crutches and watch out for their feet.

Open doors for women and mothers with baby carriages.

If a woman joins you at a table where no seat is empty, give her yours. Pull the seat out for her and help her settle in.

Do not swear. It makes you seem churlish.

Don’t comment on the appearance of others. The exceptions: Tell your wife she looks lovely and tell a friend if his fly is open.

Do not make fun of what another person eats, drinks, or thinks.

Invest in comfortable, well-made clothes. Cheap clothes waste money because they don’t last, and they make people wonder if you will be as careless with them as you are with your own appearance.

Women

As you know, one of your most important roles is to protect women.

Women are vulnerable to falling in love too quickly, because they instinctively want a family. That's true of all women.

Sexually liberated women do not exist. Recognize that women who think they can act like men are prey in a harmful culture. You must protect them.

At Home

Wash sheets and pillowcases weekly.

Light and fresh air are healthy. Keep the windows in your room open if possible.

Follow the one-touch rule: Put things in their places. Put dirty clothes in the hamper. Put dishes in the dishwasher. Throw out papers you don’t need.

An orderly house helps keep life happy and productive.

Gratitude

Gratitude creates happiness. Write down five things you’re grateful for in a notebook every day.

Adulthood

What does it mean to become an adult? In a word: responsibility. Paying rent. Creating and protecting your family. Planning ahead. Making a career. Fulfilling your obligations. Making money. Contributing to freedom, community, earth.

On a higher level, adulthood is the ability to consider two opposing concepts. Adults can deal with ambiguity and subtlety.

Many wise sayings have converses that are equally wise and true. For example, perseverance and endurance are virtues; but the adage “survival is mobility” saved many Jews from the Nazi death camps.

In our modern world, “survival is adaptability” may be more apt. You must become adaptable without losing your soul.

Farewell

With all my love, I send you out into the world, an eagle destined to soar among mountain peaks. Be strong. Don’t forget to call.

-Mom

Vic adds:

beautiful advice - reach out to learn new things and be good to friends. don't be too trusting.

Sushil Rungta writes:

Wonderful lessons. While I loved all, the lessons on respecting others resonate with me the most. How often we behave callously towards others! Sometimes, unintentionally. Here, practicing mindfulness really helps.


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