Aug
24
Humor, By Scott Brooks
August 24, 2009 |
I remember vividly the moment I decided that I wanted to funny. I was sitting in the basement of the church I grew up in during a Youth Group meeting. There was a guy named Bruce in our Youth Group who was a few years older than I. Bruce was an incredibly funny guy. He made us laugh all the time. I was sitting in a chair facing the kitchen in the basement of the church, laughing my head off listening to Bruce, when I thought to myself, "I want to be funny like Bruce."
So in emulating him, I began to develop my already decent sense of humor.
But I made an error in judgment.
I used humor that hurt other people. I made others laugh by making fun of one or more people in the room. And it wasn't good fun, it was mean. Sure, I made the majority of the people laugh, but at what cost?
Well, it cost me friendships with the people I was making fun of, and it cost me the potentially closer friendships of those that I was npy making fun. Why? Because they feared me. They feared what my mind, my wit and my tongue could unleash on them. Even though they have acted like they liked me, it was not a real friendship. They would merely suck up to me out of fear and otherwise avoid me whenever possible. The reality was that I was making fun of those that were easy targets. They were almost certainly the ones that were most looking for friendship — outcasts, the "less attractive," the overweight, etc. All this to appease the "crowd" that was never my friend to begin with anyway.
It wasn't until later, in young adulthood, that I figured out it was better to direct the humor at myself, and, if I must go after others, do it in a Horacian manner and always give the other person an out. Additionally, it was best to go after close friends with my sense of humor who knew me, knew that I was not being mean to them, who could return jabs at me and who knew that I would actually play "straight man" for them so they could poke fun at me, which means that they were the one's who got to deliver the punchline and garner all the credit for the laughter that was filling the room.
This example of the proper use of humor was further cemented in my mind when I read Atlas Shrugged and came to understand the difference between Statism and Capitalism. Now, I don't think any of us think "humor" when we think of Ayn Rand, so let me explain.
Statist want to force their way on the "few'' to gain the respect of the "many." But in reality, they are destroying those that could be their biggest allies (the few) to gain the support of the "crowd" who really doesn't like them to much anyway. The "crowd" sees the "statist/mean funny guy" as merely a means to an end to get what they want from the "few" who aren't able to stand up against the crowd (or at least don''t think they are able to stand up against the crowd). But more so, in reality, the "crowd" fears the "statist/mean funny guy" because they know that eventually they will be the next target.
In the end, kindness, not coveting what your neighbor has, and admiring success and ability, is the rising tide that raises all ships.
And when it comes to humor, direct it at yourself, take a humble attitude. If you must go after others, use Horacian methods, pointing to foibles in your own life when possible, and always give the object of your humor an "out" — then accept that out of if they take it.
And don't forget to play the straight man once in a while and let others be the center of attention. I find that the sign of a great "humorous mind" is that of a person who can sit at a table with some others, have an enjoyable evening and play the straight man to complete strangers by throwing out "set ups" that allow others to garner the laughs. Most of the time they won't even realize that they you are giving them "setups" as the straightman, but they will be drawn/attracted to you because you make them feel good about themselves, and laughter does make people feel good — and laughter that you are the impetus of feels even better.
Which takes me back to my thoughts on Statist vs. Capitalist. Today, the Capitalist are silent out of fear of being attacked. There may be nothing worse for a society's financial well being than Capitalists who live in fear and don't feel good about themselves. But that is the reality in today's political environment.
It's time we found laughter in our economic and political world again and brought the true Capitalist out of hiding. That is cure for what ails our economy!
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