May

11

I have heard every single one of these more than once on the floor. This is the G version; the X version would be very inappropriate for this venue.

You’re long hope and short reality.
He couldn’t trade his way out of a wet paper straddle.
You’re bidding like it’s your wife’s money.
His stops have stops.
He buys the high, sells the low, and thinks he’s range trading.
If brains were dynamite, he couldn’t blow his nose.
He's so underwater, Aquaman just waved.
Tighter than a bull’s ass in fly season.
Your size is what we use for toilet paper.
He’s a momentum trader—in reverse.
He couldn’t fill a corn order, let alone an order ticket.
That guy trades like he’s reading Braille.
He thinks ‘limit down’ means he hit the jackpot.
He trades like he’s got a rearview mirror taped to his glasses.
He’s scalping—his own account.
Nice fade. If I ever need a contrary indicator, I’ll call you.
He went from hero to sandwich in one tick.
I’ve seen better risk management at a toddler’s birthday party.
Market’s moving—better go ask your horoscope.
You trading or just making donations today?
He’s got a 30-lot mouth and a 1-lot account.
That guy’s P&L looks like an EKG flatline.
You're not trading—you're gambling, but slower.
He’s so unlucky, he’d lose money in a rigged market where he’s the rigger.
The guy’s charts look like modern art—ugly, meaningless, and overpriced.
He averages losers like he’s building a position in failure.
Don’t worry, he’ll blow up before lunch.
His fills are like Bigfoot—plenty of stories, no proof.
That trade had more slippage than a greased pig at a county fair.
He went full margin—and full stupid.

Asindu Drileba writes:

I watched the documentary "Floored" that was about the extinction of pit traders due to the advent of computer driven traders. A lot of the traders seemed to have their edge in bullying and intimidation that was both physical and psychological.

I made a pit trading playlist that I binged on, and this seemed consistent even to pit traders in the currency pits of London.

One of the pit traders called the computer "The most vile invention ever made." I think he was just sad that his bullying was no longer an advantage. You can't insult a computer, or use your big body to push it away so you can have the edge, or seduce it with good looks.

Michael Brush responds:

Behind every computer, there is a person.

“The offer is $25.”
“But my computer says $45.”
“So sell it to your computer.”

Pamela Van Giessen adds:

For those interested in a biography of a once famous and beloved pit trader, I recommend Charlie D: The Story of the Legendary Bond Trader by William Falloon.

Francesco Sabella adds:

It's an incredible book! I read it years ago, I even saw a 2 hour video of Charlie D. when i was in high school where he gave a lecture on trading on 1989.

Larry Williams writes:

Charly D was one stand up guy. He loved the Bears and suggested a bet with a young lady trader for a nickel on the weekend's game. She said sure…and won. Monday morning Charley D gave her 5 grand (a nickel in betting parlance). She was astounded, told him she meant 5 cents not 5G's. No way could she risk that or take the money. He left it in her hand and walked away.

I was fortunate, thanks to T Demark, to be part of his Vegas support group - he was just amazing to hang with.


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