May

3

I am writing a letter to Aubrey on his fourth birthday and as part of my introduction where I emphasize the importance of a proper foundation, something that will take account of the load and settling, and the variations when the temperature and water changes, and taking into considerations Galton's method of starting the day with shaving and brushing the teeth as a proper way to start, and all good scientists who keep a lab book with their previous days' effort, and where they left off, and every trader's proper foundation of writing down what happened over night since he left off writing down what happened the previous day, I want to emphasize to Aubrey the importance of taking good care of your teeth. I believe that very much of life expectancy and health depends on good teeth as germs start there and migrate. But I don't have any evidence. What is the best way to make this point?

Scott Brooks comments:

Be a good example and do it with him every morning, noon, and night. Kids watch what we do far more than they listen to what we say.

Make it fun for him. Don't just make it about brushing his teeth, make it your time with him. Talk about things that are important to him, and make it fun by talking with your mouth full of tooth paste and a tooth brush….i.e. so your speech sounds funny (kind of like when you try to talk to a dentist with a mouth full of cotton swabs).

And be consistent. Give him 'marker phrases', things that will stick with him his entire life (I don't know that "marker phrase" is the technical term, it's just the term that I use).

For instance, a marker phrase I say to my kids constantly is, "What happens when you listen to Dad? Good things! What happens when you don't listen to Dad? Bad things!" And then every single time they do what you tell them to do, reward them somehow and say (with a smile), "what happens when you listen to Dad?" (and they will say "Good things!"). BTW, the reward doesn't have to be anything other than a smile or acknowledgment that you know they did something good. And when they do something wrong, say to them, "What happens when you don't listen to Dad?" Much of the time they won't say "bad things" but they'll understand.

Here's another "marker phrase" that I use with my kids. Every night before I put them to bed (or if I'm out of town I call them and do this over the phone), I say this to them (we call it the Brooks Success Creed):

Remember, in order to be successful in life, you have to be:

A man of good character

A student to the best of your ability with ambitious purposes

of congenial disposition

Possessed of good morals

Having a high sense of honor and a deep sense of personal responsibility

You must always do unto others as you would have them do unto you

And above and beyond all else never get up (they usually say that phrase)

And remember, if you ever need me or mom for any reason, we'll always be there for you, we'll always take care of you, we'll always love you forever and ever unconditionally, no matter what. You can always count on us, you can come to us with anything, we'll always help you, we'll always take care of you. And remember, I'm your protector, I'm your Knight in Shining Armour! I Love You!

There are, I believe, many meals for a lifetime in that creed. But the key to it is that, embedded within it, are many key marker phrases that you can reference for the child. For instance, lets say that I'm having a tender one on one moment with one of my kids, I will say something like, "you are really becoming a 'man of good character' and I'm so proud of you". Or if they are struggling with something and eventually fight their way through it (i.e. a math problem), I always praise them and say something like, "You did so good figuring that out. And do you know how you did it? You 'never gave up'! You can even do this when they do something wrong. For instance. "When you behave like that you're not having "a congenial disposition".

Back to brushing one's teeth. If you want Aubrey to develop the good habit of brushing his teeth, tie brushing his teeth back to one the many "marker phrases" that you share with him multiple times a day and every night before he goes to bed. When he brushes his teeth, especially when he does it on his own, make a point to say something like this: "Aubrey, you are such a 'man of good character' for brushing your teeth? Brushing your teeth and taking good care of yourself really shows me that you have a 'deep sense of personal responsibility'! I'm proud of you, son!" Ingrain the marker phrases into his mind by consistently saying the phrases over and over and over again. Bed time is critical as are other tender one on one, moments. Tie activities to the marker phrases by pointing them out to him in real life/real time situations so he will attach the activity to the "ideal" of the marker phrase.

I'm no child rearing expert or anything, but I do know that this is what my wife and I have done with our kids and they seem to be turning out ok…although we do have to remind the younger one's to still brush their teeth from time to time! 

Ken Drees writes:

This reminds me of billboards I saw in Jamaica: "Remember to Brush your Teeth", next to a picture of a toothbrush and a smiling child. It also reminds me of the site's traveling hobo who said that if he could have a suitcase full of toothbrushes when he was in the Amazon, he would be rich. 

Pitt T. Maner III writes:

Based on the amounts of money spent the diamond analogy is not too far off. Sealants may be worth investigating…

Oral Health Facts:

* Tooth decay (dental caries) is the most common chronic disease of childhood.
* Only 1 in 3 of all U.S. schoolchildren and only 1 in 5 of children in families with low incomes have received dental sealants.
* In the United States, 53 million children and adults have untreated tooth decay in their permanent teeth. Much of this problem could have been prevented by greater use of fluoride and timely application of dental sealants on chewing surfaces of back teeth.
* African American and Mexican American adults have twice the amount of untreated decay as non-Hispanic whites.
Oral Health Problems are Costly
* Each year, Americans make about 500 million visits to dentists.
* In 2009, an estimated $102 billion was spent on dental services in the United States.

Marion Dreyfus comments:

Buy a poster of the body's blood system, capillaries, veins, and show by tracing down from the rich supply in and to the mouth how germs make their way from the mouth's cavities and capillaries down to the heart and elsewhere. The same poster will also serve to show how drug addiction and the use of tainted needles carries the poisons from injection site to the far reaches of the brain and everywhere else. 


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