Daily Speculations

The Web Site of Victor Niederhoffer & Laurel Kenner

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deflating ballyhoo, creating value, and laughter;
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Born in Schenectady, N.Y.
At six months whisked in a laundry basket on the back seat of a ’40 Mercury to Santa Cruz, Ca.

Family moves to San Francisco.
Relocates in six months to Concord, California as dad looks for work in hard times.
U.S. enters Korea.
Brother Tom is born.
First Peanuts cartoon strip.
Sleep with a black Labrador in the flower beds.
First separate memories are of a lush garden, sitting on a pony and the moon.

The Cold War decade begins.
Mother discovers pet earthworms in pants pocket.

Family moves to Idaho Falls, Id. where dad helps build a reactor for the atomic sub Nautilus.
U.S. detonates the first hydrogen bomb.

Accompany mother on the Welcome Wagon circuit.
Two summers collecting creatures in a vacant lot.
DNA structure is discovered.
Last family on the block to get a B&W TV with two hours allotted per week.

Enter first grade at Emerson school in Idaho Falls.
First painting is a steam freight train.
Compulsory school pledge and prayer.
Monthly drill sirens signal ‘Duck and Cover’ beneath the school desks like ‘Bert the Turtle’.
First primer Dick and Jane astounds that what is can be represented on a page.
Roger Bannister is the first to break the four-minute mile.
First grade marble champ.
Teacher’s assigned escort during snowball season.

New Schwinn bike to explore the neighborhood.
First airplane ride in a second grade outing.
First sick day ever from school after gorging on picnic hotdogs and beans.
2nd place in the class spelling bee.
Baptized into St.John’s Episcopal Church and begin Sunday school.
Disneyland opens.
Neighborhood games are hide-and-seek, tag, cowboys and Indians, kick-the-can, red rover, croquet, snowball fights, sledding.
A mystery dam appears up the hill, breaks in a rainstorm and floods the neighborhood gutters.
Initial sense of self is as see a reflection in an evening window.
First piggy bank and odd-jobs for pennies..
Find a stray Spaniel and name it Spot. Find a cat and name it Puff.
New mat appears in basement at Christmas where dad teaches us boxing, judo and wrestling.

Father begins nightly bible readings on the living room couch.
Start an unending series of collections including stamps, coins, comics, rocks, leaves...
Finally meet the Long Ranger at the County Fair.
Fire first slingshot, BB gun and .22 rifle.
Runaway horse returns to the barn on first ride.
Velcro is introduced to the country.
Scary moose encounter in fishing waders in mid-Buffalo River.
Stunned crawling under an electric fence.
First escape is climbing up the laundry shoot from a locked basement.

Above average student throughout grade school.
Three art lessons, one guitar lesson, whittle and learn the flute.
Cry at first movie ‘Old Yeller’.
Russia launches a basketball-size Sputnik to start the space race.
Bomb shelter in basement pantry is stocked with canned goods, board games and a chinning bar.
Become a Cub Scout with mom as Den Mother.
Run a successful front yard summer Cool-Aid stand.
A long list of childhood pets from guppies to guinea pigs.
First wood hut in the backyard builds a reverence for tools.
First scout hike singing with the troops ‘I’m happy when I’m hiking’.

Learn chess from dad and practice daily.
Quarterback the Peewee football team to the city finals.
Personal record of 740 straight Pogo Stick jumps.
Hula Hoops are the national rage.
2nd place in the school Hula Hoop endurance contest.
Get a reputation for cornering older bullies who pick on friends.
Chinese leader Mao Zedong launches the "Great Leap Forward".
Pick potatoes with the family once during school Potato Vacation.
Attend Harlem Globetrotter games and the half-time show of championship ping pong.

Family relocates to Pittsburgh, Pa. for six months as dad works for General Electric.
Start a meticulous collection of sports cards.
The yearly Xmas trees hold for each one big present, a $25 savings bond and stocking of goodies.
‘Sound of Music’ opens on Broadway.

Return to Idaho Falls in mid-school year.
Dig the first Emerson grade school sawdust high jump pit.
Red ribbons in broad, high jump and shot put in the city track championships.
Khrushchev pounds shoe at U.N.
Set school record for winter slide distance.
All-grade tetherball champ.
Inspired by the Idaho Falls Russetts semi-pro baseball games.
Undefeated little league pitcher for one season but can’t hit a ball.
Begin backyard experiments in proprioception, kinesthesia and imitation of animal movements.
A ping pong table appears in the basement for years of winter practice.
Fascinated by the neighbor veterinarian’s hospital in his garage.
First contraceptive pill Enovil-10 is sold for .50 cents.
First diary entry becomes a lifelong journal.

Quarterback the sixth grade football team to a winning season.
School Four-Square champ.
Grade school drill team.
Bay of Pigs fiasco.
First place in soft ball throw for distance in city age-group.
Confirmation and acolyte in the Episcopal church but secretly play with puzzles during services.
Only kid in Sunday School not to flinch against the preacher’s feigned stomach punch ‘for trust’.
Unearth a large femur that launches a study of dinosaurs.
The first of dozens of month long study projects over the years including rockets, chemistry, magic.
Two-week summer vacations during childhood take the family to most of the nation’s national parks.
Brush with a man-of-war while body surfing in Florida.

Family move to Charlevoix, Mi renown for Petoskey stones.
Dad helps startup Big Rock Nuclear Plant with the world’s first boiling-water reactor and loses hearing in one ear while test diving in the reactor.
Enter 7th grade at Charlevoix middle school.
Frequent sleep-overs at friends’ farms.
Paid pennies to a nickel for stoking the coal bin, stacking wood, mowing yards, shoveling snow.
Make a ‘bump-jumper’ for snow hills by bolting a seat to a shortened ski.
Dad in a wet suit walks from the front porch to Lake Michigan onto the ice to open water to scuba.
Wilt Chamberlain scores 100 points in one game.
Make the 8th grade basketball team by practicing in the coal bin, on snowy sidewalks and in a barn.
Snorkel summers in Lake Michigan and find an 8’’ valuable agate that starts a gem polishing hobby.
Family salvages a turn-of-century 5’ anchor from the bottom of Lake Michigan.
Join the Boy Scouts and advance to First Class with three merit badges.
Master Morse code.
#1 door-to-door magazine salesman for Charlevoix Boy Scouts.

Create a school chess team, run a tournament and win the trophy that I bought.
God and Country award in Boy Scouts.
President Kennedy is assassinated.
Yo-yos become the national craze.
Martin Luther King proclaims "I have a Dream’.
Befriend the first American Indian but have yet to meet a black person.
Earn .25/hr. doing yard work and babysitting.
Invent an apple bola with a rope attached to the stem for long distance throws.
Family moves to Jackson, Mi. as dad assumes projects manager job at the Midland Nuclear Plant.

Enter ninth grade at Parkside High School in Jackson.
Science fair yellow ribbon for a shoebox computer made from erector set parts and marbles.
One of three in high school selected to attend an off-campus Fortran programming classes.
Beatles invade America.
Nicknamed ‘burr head’ due to homemade haircut.
Football line coach refuses a try at backfield so quit and swear off team sports.
Drive twice weekly to Ann Arbor for juniors judo lessons as dad teaches adults.
Pet tortoise grazes the neighborhood with a 10’ string attached to its shell.
Begin the habit of reading two books a month.

Family moves to Browns Lake in rural Jackson County. The first US Marines enter Vietnam.
Jog daily 1.5 miles to and from high school.
English essay ‘My Fifteen Moving Years’ earns an A- in tenth grade.
#3 in school magazine sales contest nets $50.cash.
Brief part in ‘My Fair Lady’ doing back flips across the stage.
First freezer is placed in the family basement.
Weekend winter work digging basement drain tiles.
Summer job in a pipe factory cutting and tying pipes.
Dive in Browns Lake using an old-style bell helmet.
Family builds and kicks a Friendship 7 float around Browns Lake to win the float contest.
Watts ghetto riots.

Selected in journalism as the only student able to write an inverted pyramid news story.
Gather D marks in history and civics for refusing to study fiction
Average performances through high school in cross-country, wrestling and track.
Asked to Sadie Hawkins dance for the only high school date.
Last family in the neighborhood to own a power mower.
Milk is delivered daily in glass gallon jugs to the front porch.
Design a 3-dimensional chess set and board.
Dad builds a two-man submarine in the carport.
Summer work in the Aeroquip hose factory.

Sports editor of the school paper ‘The Heritage’ that wins the ‘Quill and Scroll Award’.
Kicked off the tennis team for beating the #2 & 1 singles players with unorthodox strokes.
Work weekends cleaning kennels at a veterinarian.
Register for the selective service
Graduate with a 3.75 GPA in the top 8% of the glass.
Run barefoot on the rural roads.
Enroll as a freshman at Michigan State in the pre-Veterinary program.
First college dorm is sex segregated Fee Hall.
Honorable mention in freshman fiction contest for a story about an escape from an unlocked cell.
First kiss.
Six Day War is over.
Summer of love.
Summer job assisting in a Jackson veterinary office.

Turned away at every doorstep during frat rush except Farmhouse Fraternity.
Coach Farmhouse to 2nd place after 103 years as the #1 scholastic and last-place athletic fraternity.
Intramural individual champ in paddleball singles, handball and wrestling.
Lateral menisectomy surgery from a wrestling injury.
Paddleball B doubles champs playing on crutches.
First date.
Woodstock Music Festival.

Enter the Vet Medicine program.
Vet College initiates a year-round concentration program including weekend and summer classes.
At the Vietnam War draft lottery draw #181 to allow school continuation.
Bell bottoms and wide ties are in.
Protest the vet whites-and-tie policy with a bow-tie.
America lands the first man on the moon.
A side-study with a frat mate of technical analysis becomes a small advisory service.
Intramural Sports Building evening supervisor for two years.
Spring lacrosse.
Fake mongoose springs to scare hundreds until Grandma Keeley turns white.
First car is a ’63 maroon Mercury Meteor.

Four shot dead at Kent State.
Tear gassed while walking to class.
Troopers break into the MSU Intramural building while supervisor.
Bicycle night security for the campus police during one term of bomb threats.
Stop reading newspapers for life.
Lecture at Hillsdale College on technical analysis and visit the NY Stock Exchange Big Board.
Reprimanded by dean ‘Black John’ for taking a business course outside the vet curriculum. Organize the MSU Paddleball Club.
Walk 35 miles one day during Christmas break from home to campus for a paddleball game.
Hot Pants are in.
Pet skunk dies before being de-scented.
Miss the first ½-day of college when the MAC Avenue house burns to the ground losing everything.
Move to the basement of a University Dr. house with the Woolies backup band for Chuck Berry.
Basement room floods and the bed becomes an island of study for a month..
Store animal internal organs for examination in the house refrigerator.
Landlord wins $50 in Small Claims Court for running the clothes drier during band practice.

Memorable moments in Small Animal Clinic: Scratched, bitten, witness first abdominal cancer, try to castrate a female boxer, theory of compromised host in disease etiology.
First national paddleball singles title in Flint, Mi..
Runner-up in the first National Racquetball Singles Invitational in San Diego.
First paid racquet player taking $50/month under-the-table during college.
The initial of some 100 instructional articles in the inaugural issue of Racquetball Magazine.
Develop some of the early shots and strategies still in use on courts today.
First beer triggers a one month nightly drinking spree to ‘acquire a taste’ that fails.
First lay.
Miss the second ½-day of college due to the flu.
Detroit Free Press Magazine feature article - ‘A rare combination of athlete, intellectual and flake.’

Watergate scandal.
Memorable moments in Large Animal Clinic: Stepped on, kicked, horse eats hair, lunch in necropsyfrig, large animal rectal palpations in snowstorms, lifted in tangled leads of a rearing horse. Experimental diet of Carnation Instant Breakfast tops out after a 25-lb. gain at 200 lb.
Weight lifting program includes a pony bi-weekly from pen to the surgery table.
Give the heart of cow to a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day.
Doctorate in Veterinary Medicine with a 2.7 GPA overall.

Pass the Michigan veterinary boards on the first try.
Nixon is impeached.
Move to San Diego.
Second national paddleball singles title.
Pass the California veterinary boards after a six month bureaucratic lag.
At the traditional American impasse to rebel or join society decide to become a professional athlete instead of a veterinarian.
Live during the next five years in La Mesa, La Jolla, Mission Beach and Point Loma with racquetball luminaries Charley Brumfield, Bud Muehleisen, Charles Drake, Marty Hogan.
Start a daily regimen of running 6 miles, biking 30 miles, ½-hour of weights and two hours on-court that continues for five years.
One of the first sponsored players in signing with the #1racquet company Leech Industries.
One of a three-man business trip to Taiwan that internationalizes racquet manufacturing.
Sign with Converse to become one of the first with a shoe contract and set a trend wearingtwo different colored sneakers.
First 10-speed is a Peugeot PX-10.
Bicycle 110 miles from San Diego to LA interrupting Camp Pendleton war games.
Bicycle 2400 miles from San Diego to Michigan in one month with a three stop-over days in St. Louis for the national racquetball tournament.

Third national paddleball singles title.
Racquetball becomes the national fitness craze.
#2-5 touring racquet pro throughout the 70’s.
Runner-up at the National Racquetball championships in St. Louis.
Canadian national racquet champ.
Part owner of National Racquetball Clinics Inc.,
Perform court club grand opening exhibitions across the country.
Trade lessons and clinics for accounting, dental, medical, ophthalmic, drum lesson, tours of box and granola factories, direct market seminar, money, etc.
California State Handball B singles champ and second in B doubles.
Scuba certified
Nearly faint at 70’ in scuba gear off LA from a ‘shark’ charge that becomes a somersaulting sea lion.
Invent scuba racquetball in a pool.
The string bikini is in fashion.
Run 20 non-stop 7-minute miles around midnight alone on Pacific Beach, Ca.
2nd place at the inaugural IRA pro tour stop in Denver for the earliest prize money.
Buy new ’74 Chevy van with winnings and customize the interior for travel.
Oil Crisis stops traffic in USA.

First or second place finishes in constant minor racquet tournaments around the country.
Air stewardess pries cramped fingers from trophies after Paterson Open singles and doubles wins.
Second worse case of mononucleosis in the history of San Diego County.
Construct a dog skeleton from a boiled dead terrier.
First recipient of the ‘Most Christian Player of the Year’ award.
Walk 40 miles from Gorham Sports Center San Diego to Gorham Oceanside to teach a lesson.
Initial attempt to walk the 1000-mile Baja peninsula thwarted after 90 miles from ill preparation.
Bicycle the 1800 miles Pacific coast from Canada to Mexico.
Drive a ’58 Caddie cross-country with the Michigan racquetball team to San Diego
Raft the Californian Stanislas and American rivers.
Golden Gate half-marathon covered with Calamine lotion for poison ivy. .
Run the beach annually on New Years’ eve listening to shore clamor like Jonathan Seagull.

Fourth national singles paddleball title.
Enter racquet tourneys righty plus lefty under an alias and once almost meet self in finals.
Hustle games left and right handed with racquet or paddle, book or shoe.
First player to beat handball legend Paul Haber in hands vs. paddle and vs. racquet exhibitions.
Defeat handball greats Gordie Pfier and Fred Louis in hands vs. racquet exhibitions.
Passenger in a Cessna that stalls at 2000’ and nosedives five seconds until the pilot pulls it out.
Run the 26-mile San Diego Mission Bay Marathon in 3:42 wearing high-top ‘Chucks’.
Write the sport ‘bible’ The Complete Book of Racquetball (Digest Books) that sells 130,000 copies.
Promotional book tour in Chicago.
Apple computer developed by amateurs in a California garage.

Fifth national singles paddleball title.
Houston pro stop 1st place.
Walk away in spirit from racquetball after double-cross by IRA officials at a Chicago pro stop.
Start a fifty-state quest for knowledge by car, thumb, freight and bus that endures five years.
Meet childhood hero Batman (Adam West) in the locker room at a celebrity pro-am.
Win a pro match with one eye after being hit in the eye with the ball and losing vision for two days.
Start vision experiments including blind spot, fovea, peripheral, blinders, B&W.
Wear a clown suit and makeup on court in winning the Davidson, Mi. pro stop.
Tarantula Hotel with rooms for three live and one dead on a spring gives a scare money can’t buy.
5-gallon jug of alcohol-water mixture to make rising fire rings to impress date explodes in bedroom.
Run without training the 26-mile Mission Bay marathon in 3:49.
Open the nation’s premier racquetball camp at Steamboat Springs for one month.
Harrowing 45-degree angle small plane flight out through a gale over the Rockies.
New York City blackout.

Move to introspect to a remote Michigan garage heated by a waterbed.
Initiate ‘24-hour trials’ to try limits including not blinking, emotion absence, sleep deprivation, etc.
Bicycle ‘nonstop’ 230 miles in 24 hours on a bet.
Dump a shoebox of notes on inventions to make room for more.
Co-landlord of six rental houses in Lansing, Mi.
Create a small publisher Service Press Inc.
Write and self-publish two books in one day: ‘It’s a Racquet’ and ‘The Kill and Re-kill Gang’. Pet Doberman Barfo wearing a smoking jacket is stolen by ice fishermen.
Replacement Dobies Corn and Flake are trained by loudspeaker to heal alongside the van.
Hit in a VW van by a freight train and carried 200 yards on the cowcatcher.
First test tube baby is born.

Sports Illustrated feature story ‘He Found his Racquet’ (Nov. 19, ’79).
Throw first house party on the night of a downed line that electrifies fixtures to shock guests. One hour of nightly speed chess. Bruiser embeds hatchet by the pieces to request white.
Undertake a revealing 15-year proof of active vs. passive thinking.
One week fast on nothing but water.
Write and record the first audio-cassette course Racquetball Lessons Made Easy.
Author racquetball’s only instructional flip-book series Racquetball 101, 102 and 103.
2500 hour study on the spin of the ball.

The SI article triggers a year of racquetball appearances.
Cover of Tennis Magazine swinging a 4” miniature racquet.
Series of grand opening exhibitions of Sports Illustrated court clubs.
Opportunist chimpanzee in a suit steals the limelight at the Detroit Sportsmen’s Club luncheon.
The mysterious disease AIDS is reported.
Beat Miss World Runner-up with a shoe and win a date.
Clinic tour of America driving a Chevy van with a 7’ stuffed rabbit riding shotgun.
Head the first Salt Lake racquetball camp for one month.
Live and manage ‘The World’s Greatest Psychic’ (Sun Magazine Cover) Sum Chi for three months.
Fly with Sum Chi to a Chicago publisher and to Hollywood movie producers where he impresses but is discredited to ruin on ‘That’s Incredible’.
Parents send a deprogrammer to Salt Lake fearing a psychic cult.
Mount St. Helens erupts.
Women’s Book of Racquetball (Contemporary) is published.
First hobo ride from Salt Lake to the Golden Spike in Ogden opens a new era.

Early arsenic poisoning symptoms from tested Michigan well water produce vision problems, confusion, inability to read, hydrocephalus, amnesia, audio-hallucinations.
Brain dead for two minutes from poisoning and return to life after 40 defibrillations.
Win the last two minor racquet money tournaments played in at Detroit and Toledo.
Quick lead in a Michigan celebrity sports decathlon peters out..
Retire from professional racquetball having beaten every national champion to date.
Raft flips and tears in high water run of the Salmon River to survive two days in the Idaho wilds.
Ride freights from Salt Lake City to LA and learn the ropes form two masters.
Refusal to leave a paid skid row room leads to the LA psych ward for a three-day hold.
One night in the San Bernardino drunk tank for illegal hitchhiking.
Attend the Idaho national Rainbow Gathering.
Nabbed by Canadian immigration after an unplanned border crossing in a freight grain car.
Havre, Mt. to Minneapolis by rail and caught by the first bull who issues a warning.
Robbed and ask Minneapolis police to sleep in an empty cell but taken overnight to the psych ward.
Experimental diet of 2000 calories/day with normal exercise to lose 25-lb. to 150 lb. works.
Live six months with parents on Brown’s Lake, Mi.

The arsenic symptoms reverse one year after the onset for a fresh outlook on life.
Sell Garage Nirvana and the rental houses.
First solo cross-country hitchhike with twelve rides in four days from Michigan to San Diego.
Travel to southwestern missions with a Franciscan monk.
Brother Tom graduates from Dallas Theological Seminary.
Pinned five minutes on an LA sidewalk by a demented man with a .45 pistol and a tin leg.
Three days in the LA county jail for jaywalking away from a bank robbery in progress.
Join a Clydesdale drawn acting troupe up the California coast for a week.
Hobo throughout the West standing in food lines and staying in missions.
Invent boxcar handball.
Visit the Rajneesh ashram in Antelope, Or.
Climb Mt. Rainier.
Sacramento to the Brit, Iowa National Hobo Convention and back by freight.
First Executive Hobo trip Denver to Grand Junction with a Denver businessman and Australian pilot.
Second Executive Hobo trip Las Vegas to LA with two San Diego businessmen and a psychologist.
Winter in southern California.
Pushed through a sidewalk gauntlet in an unsuccessful pickpocket try in San Diego. Surrounded by four hoods while trying to rescue a San Diego victim and punched in the jaw.
Drunk redhead begs to show what’s inside her pants and pulls out a hunting knife.
The bar chapter ends having spent one hour for nearly 3000 straight nights in bars without a drink.

Sell the ’74 Chevy van after a decade of good service and a few accidents while driving America:
Hydroplane at 30 mph in Chicago. Rear wheel falls off van at 65 mph in Nebraska. Hit deer and slide onto Michigan median. Rear-ended in Michigan. Cruise control stuck in the Rockies. Alternator fire in Atlanta. Barely missed by a sliding jack-knifed truck on Tennessee ice. Blindsided on a motorcycle in San Diego hit-and-run and crawl to recovery.
The five-year American road era for truths and options ends.
A decade of global adventure opens.
First European trip is cut short after three months when robbed and hitch penniless to Germany.
Travel in Southeast Asia for three months. Ride first elephant in Thailand.
Finance travel with annual writing storms to create backlogs that mother submits to magazines.
Sacramento to Salt Lake to Denver to Chicago to Minneapolis to Seattle to Sacramento by rail.
Near suffocation in riding too near the locomotives through the 6-mile Colorado Moffat tunnel.
LA to Jacksonville to Newark by freight and trade overalls for a suit to eat at the NY Four Seasons.
Parents move to Grand Prairie, Tx.
Freight from California to Dallas and back for family Christmas.

First international clinic through Mexico, Central and South America seeds Latin racquetball.
Climb Machu Picchu.
Sacramento to Brit with hoboette Choo Choo Chelsea for the National Hobo Convention.
Caught on a moving freight ladder over the Great Salt Lake causeway.
Hitchhike to the Sturgis, S.D. Motorcycle Rally and freight to California.
LA to Dallas and back by rail for the family Christmas.

Europe via Eurorail and hostels for three months: Grazed by a bus on Italian street. Break out of a Spanish cantina after closing. Locked in room by a French homosexual and escape by unscrewing the door hinges.
Near-death from exposure while trapped on a winter flatcar between Denver and Colorado Springs.
Say ‘That’s enough’ when spaghetti freezes in beard on ‘high rail’ between Spokane to Minneapolis.
Teach a sociology course ‘Hobo Life in America’ at Lansing Community College in Michigan.
Featured in a documentary film on hobos.
Sleep in a coffin lined with electric blankets through a Michigan winter.
Start a six-month study of the mind.
Psych tech degree from Lansing Community College.
Volunteer stints at Lansing nursing homes, adolescent and geriatric psych wards for six months.
Reader to the blind and play games with a blindfold.
Read the first of hundreds of books upside down and writing in mirror-image to improve lefty sports.
Founding member and speaker at the NY Junto.

Hobo class is cancelled by the college president after one semester due to publicity - ‘The bum’s teaching our kids to be tramps’.
Wilderness survival class from Peter Carrington.
After a vasectomy operation trade the vas deferens to a counselor for a date that night.
Michigan to Indiana by rail with Locomotive Lotus to the ‘Hands Across America’ line.
Minneapolis to Spokane to Sacramento to St. Louis to Chicago with celebrity bo Iowa Blackie.
Fall asleep covered with cockroaches on a kitchen floor when a lasso of Borax fails.
Attend the Missouri national Rainbow Gathering.
Sacramento to Brit with Hobo Queen candidate California Shasta.
North Platte, Ne. to Denver by freight with celebrity Hobo Herb.
First tattoo of a ‘road mouse’ with a smile and teardrop.
Speak at the Aspen Eris Society about hobo life.
Grand Junction to Sacramento by boxcar with millionaire author Doug Casey.
Spokane to Chicago to Toledo by rail with hoboette Boxcar Beetle.
Chicago to LA to hook up with the National Hobo Association of ‘yuppie’ riders.
Two months travel through Mexico and Central America.

Three months in the Indian subcontinent: After hard travel discover a warm, light internal spot that abandon for the wilds. Surrounded in an Indian park by a hundreds of mad monkeys and talk a way out. Squeeze out of a jewel con in south India. Quantify brothel traffic by measuring the traditional discarded condom piles on Indian porches. Pet the head of an eye-level 10’ cobra in Colombo, Sri Lanka. Lost on a Khyber Pass camel trail. Photo-hunt rhino on elephant back.
Hike the California Pacific Crest Trail for three months with a fanny pack: Develop ultra-light backpacking. 15 rattlesnakes meetings. Fight with paramedic. Snowed out near Tahoe.
Sacramento to Brit to the Aspen Eris by rail with hoboette Mappy.
Third Executive trip from Gr. Junction to Roseville with LinuxCare CEO Art Tyde and Doug Casey.
Nabbed by the Salt Lake bull and judge slams a gavel ‘dismissed with prejudice’.
Three days in the LA Country Jail for jaywalking from a bank robbery in progress.
. Parents move to Cary, N.C.
LA to North Carolina by rail for family Christmas.

‘50’s childhood sports card collection discovered in spring cleaning helps to finance trips.
Six months through Southeast Asia, Indonesia and Australia: Steam train through China and boat from Shanghai to Hong Kong. Hike solo beneath hundreds of flying foxes, big as dogs, in Sumatra. Lost in the Cape Tribulation jungle at the end of a ‘rope trail’. Bus the Australia perimeter. Locked in
the House of Mirrors after hours in New Zealand.
Freight the USA perimeter frequenting the Willies, Sallies and Goodies.
Hardest day’s work ever is ketchin’ 2500 chickens with four retarded youths in Georgia.
Bay Area’s ‘Best Sunday Magazine Feature’ award with a hobo ride-along reporter to Mt. Shasta.
Escort hoboettes Chelsea, Shasta and Mappy from Sacramento to the Brit convention and back.
Recumbent bicycle with a wind sail the 500-mile Cortez coast of Baja and through a 50-mile long Monarch migration cloud of millions.

Tour the United Kingdom on a one-month rail pass.
Two months in the Mediterranean, Morocco and Turkey.
Sacramento to Grand Junction by freight with hoboette Silver Rail to attend Eris
Grand Junction to Portland by freight with Doug Casey to inspect a gold mine.
Save life of an Oregon tramp stuck on the latch of a rolling boxcar.
Ride the RR ‘low line’ from Washington to Chicago to Pittsburgh visiting acquaintances en route.
First and only life drunk when hop from a boxcar near Wilmington, De. to visit a girlfriend bartender.
Retire after nine partial summers on the rails in catching about 250 freight trains.
Swap meet mogul of sporting goods in San Diego and LA for two years.
First motorcycle with sidecar, a ’83 Honda 650.
Begin to live in a string of alternative housing to save money for travel: Low-rent hotels, basement, backyard shed, garage, downtown cellar, laundry room, garage, and a boat.
The Berlin Wall falls.

Three month journey through Egypt, Israel, Syria and Jordan during the early Gulf War.
One month in the Caribbean Islands.
Mother dies in my arms.
Rodney King beating.
Winter in southern California.

Around-the-world ticket touches three continents in five months.
Live in NYC for two months.
Personals ad in three New York magazines fetches 120 responses in a month’s dating spree.
Win a date by dropping a girl’s ferret into underwear.
Accidentally burn a date’s lashes off with a magic trick making fire from a palm.
Stuck with claustrophobics in a jammed elevator atop Carnage Hall for twenty minutes.
Trapped in an outdoor Jacuzzi as the snow-laden lid falls shut.
Tour NY subway and steam tunnels in search of HUD’s (human underground dwellers).
Father remarries one year after mom’s death and moves to Leesburg, Fl.

Tour India, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Nepal for four months.
Visit the Livingston Wheeler Clinic for an AIDS study.
Short term assignment on alternative cancer treatments in Canada and Europe.
Work one day adding columns for the nation’s #1 speculator Victor Niederhoffer.
Hired to debunk a NYC spoon bending séance designed to hook speculators
Work a day as a Manhattan peanut salesman.

Travel in Australia, New Zealand and Fiji for four months.
Brother Tom becomes a church pastor in Leesburg, Fl.
Hike and canoe the Okefenokee Swamp.
Tidal bore along the Florida coast sweeps solo canoe out to sea.

Begin an eighteen month journey around the world.
Two months through Southeast Asia: Fight with a Bangkok bouncer when there’s no door knob at the exit. Nearly drown in a rip tide off Bali.
Six months through Africa: Safaris to Serengeti and Ngorongoro Crater. Face off with a 500-lb.silverback gorilla wanting to trade harems in the Rwanda jungle. Open a tent door to see the 4’ mouth of a two-ton hippo. Musical trees with four English women fleeing a rhino. Paralyzed with cerebral malaria in Kenya tent with lions outside. Flee African town with rebel fires in street. Meet Ugandan pigmies while looking for gorillas. Near-death climbing in Ugandan Ruwenzoris with second malaria and amoebic dysentery. Deputized armedagent for one-day pursuit of rhino horn dealer in Namibia. Second place in a small ostrich riding race in South Africa. First camel ride at the Great Pyramid.
Eight months in South America including every country except Paraguay: Columbia border robbery foiled by money in shoes. Hotel door hatcheted in Ciudad Bolivar, Venezuela. Jostled by pickpockets aboard a Surinam bus. Jolly Surinam soldiers with magic tricks to win back missing passport. Pursued by Tobago thugs at night and almost step off a sea cliff. Ferry the Amazon River from Belem to Manaus. Lost one night on the wild Brazilian Pantenal. Near-

Return to New York and compose a list of ‘Low-Life Indicators’ for market movements.
Cast a skeleton list of near-deaths and quantify the individual events with a dream goal of Catman, a person with ‘nine lives’.
Sequester in a $4 million Ct. mansion stairwell and begin to write the Catman memoirs.
Search for ball spins with moths on midnight courts is renewed with progress.
Assigned to identify and distribute funds to deserving entrepreneurs in seeding global capitalism.
Caracas, Venzuella knife attack cuts short the capitalism project.
Twenty publishers reject the unfinished manuscript so decide to self-publish.

‘Dollar an inch of Skin’ about the Caracas robbery appears in Liberty Magazine.
Become an official Catman with ‘nine lives’.
Guinness’s declines a ‘most near-deaths’ category as encouraging inappropriate risk.
Artist Linda Mears completes ten paintings commissioned for the Catman book.
Return to alma mater MSU to lecture before a sell-out crowd on world travel.
‘U Alumnus Shares Tales of World Travel’ in State News paper.

13-country tour of the world’s emerging markets - Korea, Egypt, Turkey, Sri Lanka, India, etc.
Yankee Hobo in the World Emerging Markets describes the tour.
Brief mention in a dozen business articles -‘Wall Street Gambler Niederhoffer Intuits Millions with Hobo’s Help’ (New York Observer 3-21-97).
One decade of world travel ends having visited 95 countries, slept in 10,000 beds, survived 100 robberies, and visited the museums, libraries and zoos of 60% of the world’s major cities.
A new era begins probing deep into nature.
Hike the 500-mile Long Trail the length of Vermont.
Hike the 600-mile Florida Trail from Everglades to Georgia: Mile-long gator gantlet, step over water moccasins, shot at by yokels, sink to chest in quagmire, rescued Christmas day by man in Santa Claus suit.
Move to Laws, Ca. at the foot of the Sierras to increase the population by 25%.

Walk the 130 mile length of Death Valley and discover the bleaching bones of a man.
Hike the Baja Pacific coast from Cabo San Lucas for 600 miles until forced out by rattlers.
From Niederhoffer’s Education of a Speculator - “When all’s said and done there’s the hobo.’
Abandoned by a guide in the Amazon jungle to paddle a hand-hewed canoe through Indian territory to the Brazil border frontier after two weeks and medivaced by military helicopter.
Two months in Iquitos and fifth malaria in Lima, Peru.
Parents move to Ft. Myers, Fl.
Honored to meet in the ‘90’s: Chess with Art Bisguier (’54 US open champion). Stay with Ira Brody (3-time Jeopardy Show winner). Chat with Harry Browne (libertarian for president). Hobo with Doug Casey (financial advisor). Tour NY with Henry Gifford (boilermaker). Racquets with Marty Hogan (racquetball ‘champ of the century’). Encouraged by Stan Mason (Inventor of the Year). Live with Victor Niederhoffer (top speculator). Ping pong with Marty Reisman (’58 & ’60 US open champ). Talk travel with Jim Rogers (Investment Biker). Chat with Adam Robinson (What Smart Students Know). Chess with George Soros (billionaire philosopher). Fly with Art Tyde (Linux-Care CEO). Visit Steam Train Maury Graham (King of the Hobos). Tennis with Jim Watson (co-discoverer of DNA structure).  Checkers with Tom Wiswell (World Checkers Champ).

Become a desert hermit near the tri-junction of California, Arizona and Mexico.
Homestead Scorpions Crotch in 100-square mile Sand Valley with a population of ten.
Live in a buried trailer and haul a 28’semi-van converted to an office.
Sir the sidewinder lives on the property for one year.
Walk 45 miles across adjacent bombing range to look at the other side.
Hike the Colorado Trail 500 miles through the Rockies from Denver to Durango.
Escape the VW Bug teetering on a cliff edge by crawling out the passenger window.
The turn of the millennium passes unnoticed in the desert.

Sub-teacher at Blythe, Ca. high school for two years.
Evening supervisor of Palo Verde Community College tutoring center for one term.
’63 VW bug is cut to a flatbed for transportation 90 minutes to town.
Eight illegal aliens discovered eating barrel cactus for moisture in the shade of the semi-van.
Handle first scorpion.
Charged by neighbor Big Jake during a diabetic attack.
Second person to walk the Mojave Road 220 miles from Needles to Barstow.
Hike two weeks along the high Sierra Nevadas with a llama.
Freight from Reno to Colorado for the Eris meeting.
Nature Brochure - ‘Scholar-adventurer Hobo Keeley is one of the greatest individualists in America’.
‘Stories from Hobo’ premiers at www.greatspeculations.com.

Fifth executive hobo trip from Sacramento to Denver and back with the LinuxCare CEO, Canadian stock broker, NY speculator, and Bay Area head of emergency response.
Attend Burning Man in Nevada.
In transit to a California flight bound for JFK airport on the morning of 911.
First person to walk 250 miles on the California’s Heritage Trail.
Begin the series The Desert News on Sand Valley life.

       Riverside County teacher for the ‘Severely Emotionally Deprived’ class for one term.
Attend district court daily for one month to study the judicial system.
Continue an Email ‘non-practice’ of personal medical tips and compile Keeley Kures.
Attempt to hike Baja from Cortez Sea to Pacific Ocean fails so tour the peninsula by auto.
Hike from Mexico to San Bernardino on the Pacific Crest Trail.
Rattlesnake blocks the exit of a bat-filled mine shaft.
Brushes with fifty rattlers over the years.
Walk 24 hours waterless and lost in a desert near-death.
Mount a mini-solar panel on hat for cell phone hiking emergencies.
Become a Double Catman with ‘18 lives’.
Accidentally drink a dissolved mouse in water one dark night.

Move to Coral Springs, Fl.
The Legends Racquetball Tour advisor for six months by private jet to tournaments.
Coordinate and play left handed in the first pro paddleball tour
Co-invent hybrid paddleball using a paddleball and strung racquet.
Give a Racquetball Summit clinic at the Colorado Springs headquarters
‘Tips from Dr. K’ column at www.legendsrbtour.com .
Begin a History of Racquetball book.
Donate the racquetball photo archives to the U.S. Open Museum.
‘Spirit of Racquetball’ award for the 20th century.
Decline nomination for the racquetball Hall of Fame.
Account of shaming a Florida officer in Liberty Magazine ’36 hours in the Broward County Jail’.
Frequent contributor to www.dailyspeculations.com.

Return to Sand Valley, Ca.
Resident authority of Rancho Costa Nada: The Dirt-Cheap Desert Homestead by Phil Garlington.
Pursue with a neighbor an armed coyote driving a van of illegal aliens.
Handle first tarantula.
Trapped by flashfloods in Sand Valley for the first full summer as three die in the heat.
Spokesman for the ‘Safety Pak’ for survival.
Organize the Catman stories, journals and articles into folders that stack flat to 40 feet and look over it with a Cheshire smile.